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If you aren't getting what you want from your marriage, it may have little to do with what's happening now. Often, we are driven by our "familiars," the feelings-good or bad-that we've grown accustomed to. The outcomes may be toxic, but unless we recognize that we are playing out old dramas, we may be helpless to change. The good news is that you can start living in the present and getting what you want out of life and your relationship.

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