YourSuccessStore.com Home Page

Welcome to Your Achievement Ezine
Issue 289 - December 14, 2006

YourSuccessStore.com - Your very best source for Inspiration, Sales, Leadership and Personal Development Resources and home of Your Achievement Ezine featuring the very best personal development articles, quotes and success tools from Your Masters of Success.

To review or download the 2007 YourSuccessStore.com Catalog , please use the link below (this is a large file; may take 2-3 minutes to download):

YourSuccessStore.com 2007 Catalog

Today's issue is going out to 69,027 weekly subscribers. Thank you in advance for forwarding this issue to friends, family and associates! To have a friend start their own Free subscription to Your Achievement Ezine, have them send an email to subscribe@yoursuccessstore.com with Join in the subject.

Your Achievement Ezine is committed to helping our readers grow both personally and professionally by consistently applying time proven principles and ideas in areas such as time management, leadership, communication, sales, investment, marketing and goal setting from many of today's recognized authorities on success. We thank you for reading and for forwarding this on to others who might benefit.

Sometimes it seems that folks just don't get it. No matter what you say or how you say it, they simply don't have a clue - and don't seem too worried about getting one either! It's not their nature to understand; that's just how they "are." Maybe so, but more often than not, the problem is a result of a communication breakdown.

In this digitally inter-connected world, you'd think we could "fix" such basic differences. Unfortunately, it's not as easy as plugging another device into the system. Maybe they're the problem. Maybe you are. We all know difficult people and, in fact, we can all be the difficult person.

A little background on communication styles can help us understand the issues and learn how to alter our approach to eventually make life a little easier for both parties.

The Basics
Every time we speak, we choose and use one of four basic communication styles: assertive, aggressive, passive and passive-aggressive.

Assertive Communication
The most effective and healthiest form of communication is the assertive style. It's how we naturally express ourselves when our self-esteem is intact, giving us the confidence to communicate without games and manipulation.

When we are being assertive, we work hard to create mutually satisfying solutions. We communicate our needs clearly and forthrightly. We care about the relationship and strive for a win/win situation. We know our limits and refuse to be pushed beyond them just because someone else wants or needs something from us. Surprisingly, assertive is the style most people use least.

Aggressive Communication
Aggressive communication always involves manipulation. We may attempt to make people do what we want by inducing guilt (hurt) or by using intimidation and control tactics (anger). Covert or overt, we simply want our needs met - and right now! Although there are a few arenas where aggressive behavior is called for (i.e., sports or war), it will never work in a relationship. Ironically, the more aggressive sports rely heavily on team members and rational coaching strategies.

Passive Communication
Passive communication is based on compliance and hopes to avoid confrontation at all costs. In this mode we don't talk much, question even less, and actually do very little. We just don't want to rock the boat. Passives have learned that it is safer not to react and better to disappear than to stand up and be noticed.

Passive-Aggressive Communication
A combination of styles, passive-aggressive avoids direct confrontation (passive), but attempts to get even through manipulation (aggressive). If you've ever thought about making that certain someone who needs to be "taught a thing or two" suffer (even just a teeny bit), you've stepped pretty close to (if not on into) the devious and sneaky world of the passive-aggressive.

So now what?

Clearly, for many reasons, the only healthy communication style is assertive communication. Surely you can identify many people in your own life that favor each of the four styles. Most of us use a combination of these four styles, depending on the person or situation. The styles we choose generally depend on what our past experiences have taught us will work best to get our needs met in each specific situation. If you take a really good look at yourself, you've probably used each throughout your lifetime.

Understanding the four basic types of communication will help you learn how to react most effectively when confronted with a difficult person. It will also help you recognize when you are using manipulative behavior to get your own needs met. Remember, you always have a choice as to which communication style you use. If you're serious about taking control of your life, practice being more assertive. It will help you diffuse anger, reduce guilt and build relationships - both personally and professionally.

Take Action!

Begin to pay attention to which communication styles you use throughout the day. How often do you use a communication style other than assertive?

Watch and identify the communication styles some of the difficult people in your life use. Can you begin to notice how others use manipulative techniques to get their way.


Connie Podesta is an author, counselor, educator, humorist, playwright, consultant, songwriter, actress and trainer. She radiates a super-charged, high-energy presence that immediately involves people and has them responding to her exciting challenge to reach for the best in themselves! With her talent for humor, flair for drama and unique insight into human behavior, Connie delivers solid content and practical techniques that can be put to use immediately at work and home. To order The Best of Connie Podesta - 6 CD Collection as part of the YSS Deluxe Training Package - 17 Products at a fantastic price scroll down to #4 below or go to http://deluxe.yoursuccessstore.com or call 877-929-0439. C 2004, 2006 Connie Podesta.

 

"The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the mastery of his passions." Alfred Lord Tennyson

From Our Sponsor:

Are You Good At Persuading People?

Ever tried to get a friend to go to your favorite restaurant...and gotten your way? Persuasive writers are almost impossible for companies to find. If you have this remarkable talent, you could be in big demand.

http://www.thewriterslife.com/bb/jrg1c

"Seek out that particular mental attribute which makes you feel most deeply and vitally alive, along with which comes the inner voice which says, 'This is the real me,' and when you have found that attitude, follow it."  William James

3. Your Achievement Tips -

The Definition of Leadership by Brian Tracy

Leadership has been called "The ability to get followers." One of the deepest cravings of human nature is the need to feel important, to have a sense of meaning and purpose in life and work. Leaders are invariably those who can tap into the deeper emotions of others and get them to rise above and beyond anything they may have accomplished in the past.

Inspiring Words Lead to Victory:
Winston Churchill was able to arouse and inspire an entire nation with words like these: "Let us so carry ourselves that if the British Empire should endure a thousand years, men will still say, this was their finest hour."

Spearhead a Turnaround:
Lee Iacocca stepped into Chrysler Corporation when the company was almost bankrupt. Through the sheer force of his personality, his unshakable determination, his appeals to Congress, to Chrysler workers and to Chrysler customers on television, he spearheaded a turn-around that will go down in the history books as one of the greatest achievements in American business.

Trust Other People:
The key to getting followers in every case is to "trust your subordinates." Many studies have concluded that it is the mutual bond of trust and respect that acts as the catalyst that creates high performance. Not only must you trust your subordinates, but even more important, they must trust you.

Act with Integrity:
In order to "get followers," your subordinates must have an absolute belief in your integrity. They must believe that you will abide by the highest ethical standards of fairness and justice. Integrity appears over and over as the most important leadership quality. People can only put their whole hearts into their work when they feel secure and they can only feel secure when they can relax and trust you completely.

Action Exercises:
Here are two things you can do immediately to bring out the very best from the people who look up to you.

First, make people feel important. Tell them how important and valuable they are and then give them both the responsibility and the opportunity to do their job the very best they know how.

Second, set a good example. Be an inspirational leader by being a role model for everyone else to follow. The more people look up to you, the better they will do their work and the happier they will be.

Brian Tracy


This article is by Brian Tracy. To order Brian Tracy's Success Mastery Academy as part of the YSS Deluxe Training Package - 17 Products at a fantastic price scroll down to #4 below or go to http://deluxe.yoursuccessstore.com or call 877-929-0439.


 

Make it a Great Week!

 YourSuccessStore.com Home Page