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Issue 278 - September 21, 2006

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How to Take Charge of Your Personal Life so Your Professional Life Can Soar by Connie Podesta

Think your personal and professional lives aren't intertwined? Think again. Chances are that despite your best attempts to keep the two separate, the quality and stability of your personal life often have a direct impact upon the quality and success of your professional life. In fact, for many people, their professional life mirrors their personal life.

When your personal life is stable and happy, this mirroring is a good thing. Your professional life will be productive and rewarding because you'll be able to direct your attention and energy to your work, your customers and your teammates. However, if your personal life is filled with turmoil, grief or pain, your professional life will very often suffer. When you're emotionally drained from hours of conflict, sadness or abuse at home, it's difficult to focus on even the simplest work-related task. It's no wonder then that when asked to choose between two equally qualified employees, managers will routinely choose to keep the person with the stable personal life.

To many people, this may seem unfair. After all, your personal life is private and none of your employer's business. While this is very true, the fact is that many employees do not keep their personal lives private. Instead, they bring their personal problems into the workplace, thus affecting their ability to do their job well. Since organizations must focus on profits and customer satisfaction above all else, they can not afford to allow unproductive workers to stay on the payroll.

However, many employers do realize that there will be times in their employees' lives when circumstances beyond their control may affect their ability to perform on the job. In these instances, most organizations not only understand, but they are also willing to make arrangements to help employees through these difficult times. With that said, though, the employers also have certain expectations of their employees.

1. They expect employees to try to deal with their personal problems on their own and to ask for help only with the most serious problems;

2. They expect employees to make every reasonable effort to get help if they need it;

3. They expect employees to work with them to find a solution, such as a temporary replacement or a new work schedule, so they can continue to provide the best service to their customers while they work together with their employees to deal with their problems.

Regardless of what may be occurring in your personal life at the moment, there are steps you can take to meet your employer's expectations while taking charge of your personal life.

Following these guidelines will enable you to become the employee your organization fights to keep.

1. Separate the "Big" Stuff from the "Little" Stuff
If you're constantly upset, depressed, stressed, or involved in a life "emergency," your job performance will continually decline and your employer's patience will finally wear thin. No organization should be expected to accept a drop in work performance for every stressful event that comes along. Your employer counts on you to deal with most situations on your own, most of the time, without affecting your ability to have a positive impact on customers and co-workers. Before you bring your most current "crisis" into the workplace, decide whether it's big enough to warrant assistance. While you can expect compassion and help for dealing with big problems, such as the death of a spouse or a catastrophic illness, you can't expect the same kind of support for little problems, such as the dog being ill or your child's softball game being rescheduled. Once you learn to separate the big stuff from the little stuff, you can keep your personal life in order by reacting to the problem appropriately.

2. Get Help if You Need It
As understanding as employers may be, they can only do so much to help you. Ultimately it's your responsibility to make every effort possible to work through your crisis, even if it means getting help from outside sources. However, the hardest thing for many people to do is admit they need help. They mistakenly believe that asking for help is a sign of weakness, when in reality the opposite is true. For the most part, people who ask for help tend to be very strong and determined not to become victims of abuse, neglect, violence, or tragedy. How willing are you to get help when you need it? If your personal life is in turmoil, then you may be able to benefit from some of the many excellent services available in your community or through your organization. Remember, whether you solve your problem yourself or with the help of others, the results are worth the effort: peace of mind, healthier relationships, a new outlook on life, and of course, better on-the-job performance.

3. Work with Your Organization to Find a Solution
When you do have a "big" problem that justifiably affects your job performance, let your manager know about it as soon as possible. Trying to keep it a secret or hoping no one will notice may increase the stress already induced by the event. But instead of revealing your situation and then waiting for your organization to come up with a solution, bring to the meeting some possible solutions that would work for both you and your employer. Perhaps you could be temporarily transferred to a department that requires less customer contact, or maybe you could make arrangements to switch schedules with someone in order to give you the time you need to deal with your problem. When you show your employer that you respect their objectives and are prepared to do what it takes to get your personal life back on track, there's usually little they wouldn't do to help you.

Today's organizations expect their employees to come to work ready to put their full effort and energy into the task at hand. Maintaining a stable personal life is one of the surest ways to accomplish that. But while no one's personal life will ever be perfectly in order, being able to separate the "big" stuff from the "little" stuff, asking for help when you need it, and working with your organization to find a solution for your problems are the keys to weathering any crisis. Always remember that when your personal life is in order, it will be reflected in your work and in your ability to ensure your future employability.


Connie Podesta is an author, counselor, educator, humorist, playwright, consultant, songwriter, actress and trainer. She radiates a super-charged, high-energy presence that immediately involves people and has them responding to her exciting challenge to reach for the best in themselves! With her talent for humor, flair for drama and unique insight into human behavior, Connie delivers solid content and practical techniques that can be put to use immediately at work and home. To order Connie Podesta's products including The Best of Connie Podesta 6 CD collection, Making Choices That Count: The Secret of Self-Esteem, How to be the Person Successful Companies Fight to Keep and JOURNEY - A One Woman Play or buy All and Save!, go to http://conniepodesta.yoursuccessstore.com or call 877-929-0439. C 2004, 2006 Connie Podesta.

"Many people may listen, but few people actually hear." Harvey Mackay

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3. Your Achievement Tips -

Eliminate Worry By Bob Proctor

Everyone gets the same amount of time every day. We get all there is... 24 hours... fourteen hundred and forty minutes. So, with time being such a precious commodity, why is it that so many of us spend our days worrying? Worry has almost become a national pastime for most! I suppose if we had a contract to live for a lifetime, it wouldn't be such a big deal, but we don't. We just have now!

Some of you may be reading this and thinking, "Yeah, he probably doesn't have anything to worry about." But, that's not true. I have plenty to worry about, I just choose not to and I'd like to suggest that you follow suit and resolve right now, as you read this article, that you are not going to invest even one of those fourteen hundred and forty minutes worrying... about anything.

Clearly understand, there isn't any situation that isn't made worse by worry. Worry never solves anything. Worry never prevents anything. Worry never heals anything. Worry serves only one purpose... it makes matters worse. How? Well, quite simply, when you're focused on worrying about something, you'll never be able to focus on a solution. Be aware that your mind cannot focus on two things at the same time... it can either focus on the current situation and worry or a solution. The choice is always yours.

James Kurtz said, "If we worry, we don't trust; if we trust, we don't worry. Worry does not empty tomorrow of its grief, but it does empty today of its joy."

If you have been worrying about something or someone, you can eliminate that worry through displacement. Let its positive opposite crowd it out of your mind and then follow through with constructive action. Everything in the universe has an opposite, even your worries.

You could be worried about not having sufficient time to do some of the important things you have to do today. The truth is you do have enough time if you are willing to give up something else. The busiest person you know, yourself included, would have time to go downtown and pick up a check if you won a lottery. You might neglect doing something else to make the time, but trust me, you would get the check.

When a worry thought occupies your attention, choose the positive opposite to the worry thought and focus your attention on that. No one is without problems; they are a part of living. But let me show you how much time we waste in worrying about the wrong problems. Here are some figures I picked up years ago and I would think they're just as valid today as they were when I first came upon them. Here is a reliable estimate of the things people worry about.

Things that never happen—40%;
Things over and past that can't be changed by all the worry in the world—30%;
Needless worries about our health—12%;
Petty miscellaneous worries—10%;
Real, legitimate worries—8%.

In short, 92% of the average person’s worries take up valuable time, cause painful stress—even mental anguish, and, for the most part, are unnecessary. Remember what Dr. Kurtz said, "Worry empties today of its joy." Don't worry, be happy!


For 40 years, Bob Proctor has focused his entire life and agenda around helping people create lives of prosperity, rewarding relationships and spiritual awareness. To order any or all of Bob Proctor's extensive MP3 library of success products (and save big for the next few days) go to http://bobproctor.yoursuccessstore.com or call 877-929-0439. © 2003, 2006 LifeSuccess Productions.



 

"The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously."  Hubert Humphrey

4. Create Successful, Happy and Healthy Relationships!

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